2013 Volkswagen Golf R Is A Po’ ‘Mo’s Porsche

2013 Volkswagen Golf RMy former boss, who is still afflicted with a Saab 900 Turbo he purchased new in ’87, came to my office looking for the keys to the Golf R I was driving. Apparently, it’s on his short list of new cars. He’s also a fan of the Audi A5, BMW 3-Series coupe, and various Porsches. The fact that somebody who understands serious German pedigree puts the R on his list tells you a lot about the R. Think of it as a po’ ‘mo’s Porsche.

The 2013 Volkswagen Golf R looks like a slightly-melted version of the same two-box design Giorgetto Giugiaro penned for Volkswagen when it was preparing the first-generation Golf/Rabbit in 1974. It’s a shape almost as iconic as the Beetle’s. R models sport sinister lower front splitters, large black grilles, exaggerated ground effects, a rear spoiler, and twin center-mounted chrome exhaust outlets — all placed over 18” alloys and low-profile tires.

2013 Volkswagen Golf RBut you can’t truly understand this car until you step into all 256hp of 2.0-liter turbocharged, all-wheel-drive whoopee that expresses its joy through a throaty burble in the pipes. In a Corvette, that’s not a lot of power. But, in a lightweight commuter car, it will make you giggle like your partner touched your special spot. The fact that the R’s six-speed manual transmission comes with a light clutch and precise action only makes it better. Toss it into a corner and the four-wheel independent suspension sachets through. I could rail on it all day long, but would settle for just the drive to work and back. Fuel economy (theoretically) rates 19/27 mpg city/hwy.

For better or worse, the interior is pure German. Nothing is frivolous, but everything is well-made. R models come with deeply-bolstered, heated leather seats, a thick flat-bottom steering wheel, automatic climate control, and a premium audio system with CD and satellite radio. Alloy pedals and a leather-wrapped shift knob imply performance. Large analog gauges keep your eyes on the prize. Unlike in some other highly-revered German iron — thank Bavaria — there’s no joywheel-controlled multi-menu nonsense.

2013 Volkswagen Golf RI started to imagine what other VWs should get the R treatment. A Jetta R would be an obvious winner, but so would a Jetta SportWagen R, Eos R, or Tiguan R — all vehicles that share the Golf’s basic architecture. The wagon would especially charm my little car-geek soul. What I really love about the R is that you have a balls-out touring car that is every-day practical.

Here’s the ugly part. Our two-door, no-nav edition retails for $34,760. If you’re willing to give up 56hp, you can knock $10,000 off the tag and fly GTI. You’ll get much of the same car, but it won’t cause you to heckle yourself happy. With the Golf R, it’s all about the driving experience. Just think of it as a Porsche for half the price.

Who knows what my boss will buy? His recent promotion may ease a Porsche into the garage, but he’d have no shame in buying the Golf R. Either way, don’t worry — the cool-ass Saab is safe and sound.

2013 VW Golf R
Five-passenger, AWD sedan
Powertrain: 256hp 2.0-liter turbo-four, six-speed manual transmission
Suspension f/r: Ind/Ind
Wheels: 18”/18” alloy f/r
Brakes: disc/disc fr/rr with ABS
Must-have features: Speed, utility
Fuel economy: 19/27 mpg city/hwy
Assembly: Wolfsburg, Germany
Base/as-tested price: $33,990/34,760

6 thoughts on “2013 Volkswagen Golf R Is A Po’ ‘Mo’s Porsche

  1. Don’t forget . . . not only do you lose the 56 HP dropping down to the GTI, but you lose the 4-Motion all wheel drive. The four-door R is a wet dream!

  2. Jim, that’s a great point. $10k seems like a big difference, but the R is a wet dream! 4Motion puts all of the extra power to good use.

    1. You’re entitled to your opinion, but I feel obligated to point out that that’s exactly the sort of stereotyping we aim to counteract here at Gaywheels. It’s annoying, juvenile, and ridiculous, and lesbians and gays have put up with it for far, far too long.

    2. It’s gorgeous when anybody drives it – especially me. Get behind the wheel and go for a spin before judging. It is a heck of a ride.

      1. I agree with Casey although I’m not as hot as Casey and I certainly wouldn’t enhance the beauty of the car. The R always catches my eye unlike the ubiquitous Audi or BMW.

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