2013 Toyota RAV4: That’s So Gay, But Watch Your Head

2013 Toyota RAV4In the movie Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, our heroine walks underneath a movie marquee and one of the letters falls and hits her.  When asked “how’s your head?” she responds “no one has ever complained.

Those musings of Elvira (a.k.a. Cassandra Peterson, whose cabaret act started in a gay bar in Colorado Springs) are wise to keep if you are big or tall and want to enjoy the RAV4. Allegedly, there is more interior room in the all-new 2013 RAV4, but if you are a Bear or center for your basketball team, you will need to duck and cover as you get in for a really cool and very gay ride. At just 5-foot-11 — and well over 200 pounds — I had to think before I bounded into the RAV4. Yet once I got in, the party was on and the thrill was just beginning.

Earlier this year (is it already Solstice?), Jeff Stork gave a thorough review of the RAV4 for Gaywheels, and did an excellent job.  I won’t rehash his spot-on critique; I will just give you my unique findings and musings of a big (literally) Elvira fan.

And my findings and musings are always gay, thus: What makes the 2013 RAV4 gay? Everything.

2013 Toyota RAV4Keep in mind that this is a crossover vehicle, and “crossover” can mean many different things in the LGBT world. Thus, think of the RAV4 as a car and a sport utility vehicle in one of those mash-up machines at Dave and Buster’s. What will your child look like if you are a small-to-midsized car and your spouse is an all-terrain go-getter? Your baby would be the RAV4, something that would make both of you proud.

Toyota has indeed made the RAV4 a better looking car.  The SUV accents are gone (i.e. rear exposed spare, rough angles for rough riders).  The look is definitely sleeker, and that may not be a great thing, as it now looks just like every other crossover SUV on the market. The interior can be quite spacious when all the seats are down — and you are having to move from the abode of your love from this summer into the home of your new winter love.

As 2013 draws to a close (how poetic was that?), you can get a new 2013 base LE 2013trim for around $22,500. That’s not a bad price, given that it includes power doors, power mirrors, and one-touch power windows in front. You also get a USB and ‘Aux In’ connection, something that is a must-have for audiophiles.

2013 Toyota RAV4 (photo by Jeff Stork)Two other standard items I really like include audio controls on the steering wheel and a rearview camera. I love Cher, but I don’t love everything she’s ever recorded; audio selection buttons on the steering wheel help keep the love affair intact.  And who doesn’t need a rearview camera?  Nothing ruins a new love like backing into something crunchy, only to discover that it was your partner’s one-of-a-kind Spice Girls World Tour souvenir ornaments made by Tiffany’s.  Unlike your intuition that tells you which man in the bar is your future ex-husband, this backup camera will help you know when you are getting too close.

The RAV4 has long been a gay car, and as we twerk into 2014, the love between LGBTs and Toyota should only become stronger. Reviews for the new year, so far, have been mixed.  U.S. News and World Report ranked the 2014 RAV4 at 16 of 22 in the Affordable Compact SUV category, which is about where it was last year.

Again, watch your head.  Just because no one’s complained so far doesn’t mean no one’s been hurt. Or damaged.

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