2016 Toyota 4Runner 4×4 TRD Pro: Boys, your Jonny Quest vehicle is finally here

2016 Toyota 4Runner TRD Pro in Quicksand

Note: This review will focus solely on the TRD Pro trim. When we get our hands on a tamer 4Runner, we’ll tell you all about it.

If you’re into sitting well above it all, bouncing around a bit in a fun way, driving a vehicle that is just plain cool and fun to drive, you really should check out the 2016 4Runner TRD Pro. This sand trap-eze artist is available in Quicksand (a very Desert Storm and Dessert Storm color) and comes with a 4.0-liter DOHC V6 engine that cranks out 270 horses and puts out 278 lbs.-ft. of torque. This will set you back more than $41K, but boys, if you have always wanted your Tonka Toys or John Deere playthings to come to life, this is what you have been saving your loose change and Bitcoins for. (Girls and girlz, this includes you – now’s your chance to really show the boys that you rule and they sock.)

2016 Toyota 4Runner TRD Pro in Quicksand

I had a blast driving it. All I could think of was episodes of Jonny Quest, where Jonny, Hadji, Race Bannon and Dr. Benton Quest (a gay couple long before Siegfried and Roy) as they got into danger, did some quick thinking and then figured out a way to escape and leave the bad guys in the dust or some pretty deep quicksand. Sure, the constant soundtrack of Los Straitjackets and Meshugga Beach Party (two excellent surf rock indie bands) helped my little childhood fantasy move along nicely as I drove. (No doubt the cars next to me on East Colfax in Denver thought I was an old queen who was off her meds.) While the old Jonny Quest cartoons were all politically incorrect, get the 2016 Toyota 4Runner and come into the 21st Century as you proudly proclaim ‘I’m with Her’ – and still act like your life is an adventure.

(Look closely at this intro to the Jonny Quest cartoons and see for yourself how Dr. Quest and Race Bannon look lovingly, butch-ly into each other’s crotches. That’s so gay. That’s great.)

2016 Toyota 4Runner TRD Pro in Quicksand (pic by Tim Esterdahl)
2016 Toyota 4Runner TRD Pro in Quicksand (pic by Tim Esterdahl)

Okay, here’s what you get for the equivalent of your first year of tuition at a second-rate private college:

Crawl control; hill-start assist control; front and rear stabilizer bars; 17-inch alloy wheels; vehicle stability control; traction control; brake assist and smart-stop technology; hood scoop; fog lamps; color-key bumpers; over-fenders; silver roof rails; tow hitch receiver (7- and 4-pin connectors); front and rear mud guards; navigation with app suite; backup camera with projected path guidance (a must for any driver); power heated front-row seats – and a lot of big and bold Toyota and TRD badging all over the vehicle.

Mileage is 17 city / 21 highway mpg – not great, but who cares? Finally, you are directing your own episode of an action cartoon.  It’s about time.

But before we close, keep in mind that you have a dilemma. Should you go for one year of a snazzy education for a degree that won’t even get you hired as a barista? Or would you rather dump your cash into the 2016 Toyota 4Runner TRD Pro, something that only you may truly enjoy?

Time for a little humor.  And a bit of a reality check from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Seriously, kids, think before you become an undergraduate – or say no to the 2016 Toyota 4Runner TRD Pro.

To be sure, I’ve never been a girl who could say no.

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