That’s so gay: 2018 Mazda CX-5 is a top LGBTQ-plus safety pick

This car has it all and does it all. Well, maybe not like Ricky Martin living la vida dulce or Karen Walker (of Will and Grace fame), the coolest and most obnoxious queen on 5th Avenue. But if you need a reliable car that’s snazzy and rugged and can make you feel ultra-gay and uber-metrosexual at the same time, this is the one for you.

This year, forward collision warning and mitigation is standard on all trims. That’s a big deal to me. We all get behind the wheel and get distracted, often by our own fabulousness. Whether we imagine ourselves hearing “shantay, you stay”, or get angry about “The Man That Got Away” (a 1954 Judy Garland hit that is grammatically incorrect), anyone’s mind can wander. Next thing we know, we’re air-kissing the bumper in front of us. I’d rather have my Vera Wang dirtied by my Frappuccino than get into a car crash. Now, with standard forward collision warning, all is well and safe. That alone makes the 2018 Mazda CX-5 a keeper.

Also standard is blind spot monitoring and rear cross-traffic alert. These too make the 2018 CX-5 worth all the money you are spending. How many times have we tried to change lanes or back out of a parking space and hit (or almost hit) someone in heels, someone stumbling drunk, or someone texting and driving (maybe all three)? Sure, a starting price of $24,150 for the base Sport trim is quite a bit. Back at the turn of the century, $24,000 could get you quite an impressive SUV with lotsa bells and whistles. But you’d never get anything that can keep you from crashing or hurting someone: you were on your own on that. I’m all about safety, especially when it comes to bigger vehicles like this SUV. Luckily, thanks to new safety measures, fewer people are being hurt in car accidents as technology has allowed manufacturers like Mazda to improve their safety standards as well as allow forward collision warning features. I think safety is key, especially when it comes to the LGBTQs and our future (“I believe the children are our future….”). Sometimes safety costs money. An accident clearly costs more, however, even when it’s not your fault.

That said, the CX-5 isn’t perfect. Its biggest flaw is Mazda’s navigation and control system, which seems to be stuck in Barack Obama’s first term: it does everything okay, but oh, it could be so much better.

For example, you have to use a dial to navigate the system, and you have to pay attention to what it is asking you to do. Otherwise, it will kick you out or just sit there like a useless boyfriend.

My frustration was especially acute with the navigation system. There’s no easy way to cancel route guidance or silence the helpful voice of direction. Maybe it’s all there, but Mazda doesn’t make it easy to use, especially while driving. You really should stop when you are using the navigation. Mazda ensures that you have to stop or else the kind voice guiding you will annoy the crap out of you.

Oh, and did I tell you that it’s all new this year? (Well, it was new in 2017, but it still looks new in 2018.) Man, oh Manischewitz, this car is nice and still quite the worker. It’s considered one of the best We Are Fam-a-lee cars on the lot. IMHO this is a car you really should check out and test drive, unless you are single and don’t need practicality (must be nice!).

Unlike U.S. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, the 2018 CX-5 has a backbone and won’t buckle when you need it to defend you. Unlike cowering former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi or ancient U.S. Senator Dianne Fienstein, the CX-5 is youthful and will protect you from harm, even from harm you don’t know is out there to harm you….

And the 2018 Mazda CX-5 is a great car to boot.

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