2019 Nissan Kicks: A kick in the pants without emptying your wallet

Picture it: any fabulous weekend in the 21st Century, but…. 

You need a new car because your ‘friend’ just totaled your beat-up old reliable vehicle because he was singing along to the pretend karaoke in his head.  Now you are screwed.  You don’t want to get a used vehicle because of all the repairs you had to make immediately after you purchased the last used car you bought, but you really can’t afford something new in the ‘affordable’ range’.

What to do? Starting at $18,540 US, the 2019 Nissan Kicks (which replaced the Nissan Juke, a gay fave) could be the answer to the economic realities of your life. 

In so many ways, the Nissan Kicks is a very basic car. You get 125 horsepower.  Four doors.  There’s decent interior room for humans, assuming you really don’t have much in the way of largess, like I do. And there’s not too much of a pinch to your wallet, assuming you are gainfully employed or are still in good graces with mum and dad. 

For the money, this year’s Kicks really does come with many features that make it worthwhile. It is a Top Safety Pick designate from the American Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. Automated emergency braking and forward-collision warning are standard. A 7-inch touchscreen is standard on all Kicks, as well as a decent sound system and other features you’ve come to expect, like Bluetooth.  

And for those of you on a budget (who isn’t), cargo room exceeds what you would find with most competitors, meaning your trips to buy caramel corn and Star Wars DVDs in bulk is a snap with the Kicks.  Car and Driver was able to get 19 carry-on suitcases into the boot of the Kicks when the rear seats are folded down.  Now there’s a visual! 

Driving around town, I found the Kicks to be extremely easy to maneuver, and with my largess and presence (I still weigh 1/8 a ton and am all the fun), that’s saying something. The Kicks is considered a subcompact SUV, which means you can park it relatively easily wherever you go.  Again, there is decent interior room for you and your friends – and your stuff. Mileage is 31 city / 36 highway. A breeze indeed.  And a good looker to boot. 

Kelley Blue Book says the 2019 Nissan Kicks “boasts plenty of personality,” and for those us who have been called fancy and theatrical most of our lives, that’s code for saying you can’t get much more fabulous than this. My kind of car. 

And indeed, the Nissan Kick’s does have that special big gay appeal. Sure, you can show up in a showboat with all the glitter and glamour, but if you can’t find a place to park it, or worse yet, you can’t keep making the payments on your big splashy showboat, who really loses in the end?  With the 2019 Nissan Kicks, practicality rules.  Which means you can still be showy, and what will show most is your Brainiac power…

I would have ended this review with “Get your Kicks on Route 66” but I fear that many of you just may not get the reference…..

Oh, what the heck: Enjoy Nat King Cole!