by Scott Corlett
The Gaywheels.com gang was in Motown for the 2007 North American International Auto Show this past week. We braved all the entertainment, free alcohol and attractive models to bring you the Top 10 introductions from the show floor. And if you hear any stories about our editor falling over when an especially attractive auto executive walked by, he swears it isn’t true (witnesses tell a different story).
Smart and Sexy – 2008 SMART fortwo

After the auto show in Paris, we lamented that we didn’t have the smarts to squeeze dates with two, high-mileage little hotties into one, jolly-good Friday night. While we are still no closer to doubling our Friday night pleasure, DaimlerChrysler’s double-parking, no-caps smart car is nearer than ever to arriving on American shores. Due later this year, the über-cute smart—which is short enough that two fit side-by-side in one parallel parking spot—makes a dazzling 50 miles per gallon. Best of all, between the anticipated sub-$15k base price and sure savings at the gas pump, you’ll have plenty of extra cash in pocket should you line up a Friday night double-hitter.

In Sharp Focus – 2008 Ford Focus

The redesigned 2008 Ford Focus takes us back to the days when the model’s nameplate said “Escort,” the current president graced the White House only on parental visits, and the Internet was but a gleam in a Tennessee senator’s eye. With the exception of the faux gills that will please only James Bond fans, the new Focus’s exterior recalls the clean lines of the second-generation Ford Escort. Inside, Al Gore techies will delight in the newly available Microsoft Sync system, an electronic octopus that connects to Bluetooth phones, PDAs, iPods, and myriad other digital gadgets and gizmos; reads aloud incoming text messages; and understands human speech. If only we could find a boyfriend with such a useful skill set.
Paying Hy Tribute – 2008 Mazda Tribute Hybrid

These days, hybrids are all the rage. Mazda joins the swings-both-ways club with the introduction of its Tribute HEV hybrid SUV. The folks at Mazda claim that the Tribute HEV will be one of the least-polluting vehicles on the road—its 155-hp, four-cylinder engine and electric motor and battery pack are PZEV certified, which means that its emissions of noxious pollutants will be nearly zilch. On top of its eco-creds, this small-scale SUV is perfect for hauling new girlfriends, furry dogs, and bulging ski bags as you head up for that romantic weekend in Aspen. While the Tribute HEV can’t guarantee that you’ll make it down the slope or past first base, it assuredly will get you up the mountain with a Mazda minimum of fuss.
Rogue Wave – 2007 Nissan Rogue

As with the ocean, you should never turn your back on Nissan. For 2007, the Nissan Rogue joins the growing swell of crossover vehicles that threaten to drown traditional SUV and minivan sales. Whether you call ‘em jacked-up station wagons or SUVs on the down-low, crossovers handle better and use fuel more efficiently than their beefier vehicular cousins. Nissan’s executives, like the occupants of a plastic surgeon’s waiting room, know that curvaceous figures command attention. Basically, the Rogue is a smaller, sexier version of Nissan’s long-popular and well-rounded Murano crossover. At least when it comes to Nissan crossovers, smaller is better.
EVOlution – 2008 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution

Bad boys and girls love them some EVO. The EVO edition of Mitsubishi’s Lancer sedan is the street racer that keeps ticket pads smoking hot from overly frequent use. In Detroit, the new EVO X (as in tenth) was shown under the guise of a concept car called “Prototype X.” In time for patrol officers to make their annual ticket quotas—next year— the Lancer EVO X will hit dealer lots early in 2008. With promised but unnecessary improvements in handling dynamics, horsepower, and drivetrain finesse, the EVO X is sure to continue its predecessors’ tradition of keeping pulses high and palms sweaty. We wonder where you sign up for that job.
Malibu Dreaming – 2008 Chevrolet Malibu

Perhaps the timeless Mattel beauty that resides in the Chevy Malibu’s namesake seaside town shared some of her beauty secrets. Whatever the case, the all-new 2008 Chevrolet Malibu is hotter, sleeker, and more youthful than ever. This midsize sedan also shares Barbie’s love of accessories. From the Malibu’s well-stocked closet, you can choose from options such as a panoramic sunroof, two sizes of engines, three sizes of wheels, and a six-speed automatic transmission. Definitely, there’s going to be a new car in Barbie’s Malibu garage. And we won’t be surprised at all when Ken sneaks it out of the garage for a late-night jaunt to boystown!
Your Pink Cadillac – 2008 Cadillac CTS

Much to the disappointment of Springsteen fans, General Motors does not offer the all-new 2008 Cadillac CTS with hot pink exterior paint. However, the new CTS should bring plenty of pink to the faces of GM executives that are ashen with worry over the company’s falling market share. The CTS is a hot, sporty package that will both solidify the brand’s loyal customer base and broaden Caddy’s appeal among thirty-somethings who are ready to buy their first luxury car. Edgy yet elegant, this CTS is like a date that you can take to a black-tie event and then throw-down with in the alley out back of the opera house. BTW, if you have any single friends who fit this profile, please be sure to give him our number.
Hi-Yo, Silverado – 2007 Chevrolet Silverado

Just as was Silver, the Lone Ranger’s horse, the 2007 Chevy Silverado is a working beast. And just as Silver was at the top of his breed, the Silverado’s resume is populated with superlatives: According to the folks at GM, within its class, the Silverado has the highest horsepower, best fuel economy, greatest towing capacity, greatest head-, leg-, and hip-room, quietest cabin, most aerodynamic design, and on and on … Not only does GM sing the Silverado’s praises, our colleagues at Motor Trend named it “2007 Truck of the Year.” Now, the only question is, can the Silverado save its rider from the bad guys?
Avenging the Stratus – 2008 Dodge Avenger

The all-new 2008 Dodge Avenger is bold, beefy, and eye-catching—in short, everything that the tepid Stratus, the vehicle that the Avenger replaces in the Dodge lineup, was not. In fact, muscular metal is now the defining design note for the entire Dodge family of vehicles. This is appropriate, because, as DaimlerChrysler’s top-selling American badge, Dodge does a lot of heavy lifting. The Avenger isn’t just a geek on steroids. The R/T edition packs a 235-hp, 3.5-liter V-6 engine coupled to a six-speed automatic transmission. Not only is the Avenger a big-boned girl that can haul ass, she also runs hot and cold: there are available heated seats, cooling storage bins, and beverage containers that both warm and chill. Hey, where’s the icemaker?
Going Topless – 20?? Chevrolet Camaro Convertible

During our high school days, all the good bad boys drove Chevy Camaros—you know the ones we mean, the ones who wore tight, faded Levis and cutoff, mesh T-shirts, smoked like fiends, and periodically flipped off the gym teachers. Sadly, the Camaros and cutoffs went out of style. Well, if the buzz about the super-sexy Camaro convertible concept in Detroit is any indication, these bad-boy haulers will soon be peeling out again in school parking lots all over the land. After seeing the concept, which was painted OVER-THE-TOP Hugger Orange, we ran right home and started cutting off our T-shirts in anticipation of the day that the Camaro returns to that other lot—the dealer’s. Thankfully for the sake of those who someday might see us in our Camaro driving-attire, we have a few years to work on our abs before this Chevy makes production.