A Lady In the Street & a Freak in the Bed

by Donny Nordlicht
Many times when we are single, we focus on finding the “perfect” man. Perfection is in the eye of the beholder but many of us would outwardly describe him as someone suave and debonair, well-dressed and using those 50 cent words. If we were really honest with ourselves, we’d quote rapper Ludacris and admit that we REALLY want “a lady in the street, and a freak in the bed.” All that, rolled into a car, my dear friend, is the 2009 Cadillac CTS-V.

Let’s start with the negatives, because they’re few and middling. And plus, most of the downsides of the V are either me picking nits, or have some very, very awesome pay-offs. So the heating/ventilation controls are at your knee, and it’s more than just “taking your eyes off the road” to see if your seat air conditioner is set on high or medium. Either way, your precious bits will be chilled to perfection.
The seat controls for the fabulous optional Recaro buckets require a contortionist’s flexibility to reach. But then again, once you set the seat, you’ll never want to get up again. Although, you’ll have to at some point, since you’ll be funding your gas attendant’s new Mercedes. Ok, well, to be honest, that’s only because it’s hard not to floor the go-pedal at every green light, with 556 horsepower charging to the rear axle from the Corvette ZR1-sourced V8. Get to know your nearest tire salesman too; it was as though my face couldn’t help but to light up every time I lit up the rear wheels.

But the CTS-V’s all-out raw power is only one part of what makes it such an impressive car. It is also the fastest sedan around Germany’s famed Nurburgring race track; the home home court for all things German and precision handling. The fact that General Motor’s engineers intensely labored over the handling prowess of the V shows, even when not driving on a track. I put the car through its paces in my usual little handling loop up in Connecticut, and found the mid-size sedan to be one of the most rewarding cars I had ever driven through Sylvan Hills. And the sound, oh the sound of that supercharged V8 roaring it’s way around every bend and cresting every hill; music to my ears.
What I find most impressive, however, is the fact that even with all this power and handling prowess, you can still drive the V every day. I had zero problem driving around Manhattan on a rainy day, to the mall, or parallel parking by Starbucks. Set the suspension to “Tour” mode, leave the transmission in drive, and it’s just your average Cadillac CTS. With 556 horsepower.
I wouldn’t go as far as to say the Cadillac CTS-V is the perfect all-rounder. It has too much power, in fact. However, with a starting price of $59,875, undercutting its competitors by an easy 10 grand at least, it makes a compelling statement. So he’s a little rough around the edges and hard to handle some times, but a man car like this doesn’t come around often. And when it does, you grab it and go.

Images courtesy of Cadillac

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