By Richard Read & Joe Tralongo

Here at Gaywheels, we tend to get a little punchy on Wednesdays, and that goes double for Wednesdays that fall before long holiday weekends. So although we are working on a couple of great car reviews at the moment, we’re feeling a little too giddy to talk sensibly about trannies and driveshafts.

Well, you know what we mean.

Instead, we’re going to share some humpday humor — specifically, outtakes from car commercials that were a smidge too raunchy for primetime. We should warn you that unless you work in a bar or an adult bookstore or on the set of Treme, both of these clips are NSFW. So, you know, wear headphones.

First, a clip of the late Robert Ridgely shilling Monroe shock absorbers, courtesy of our colleagues at Jalopnik. Ridgely was a Hollywood fixture, known for his work on camera (in Boogie Nights, for example) and as a voiceover actor (he performed Thundarr the Barbarian AND the Purple Pieman from Strawberry Shortcake). Clearly, he should’ve also been cast in Boys in the Band. Check it:

And then, for balance, we have an unknown spokesman (well, unknown to us) pitching for Ralph Williams Bayshore Chrysler-Plymouth in San Francisco. Rumor has it that Ralph fired this firecracker shortly before the commercial went into production. Obviously, it was shot on film, but we like to think it was done as a live broadcast, too. Because, really: could you imagine?

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Wednesday afternoon, already in progress.