It’s Friday, and Gaywheels’ New Orleans office is preparing for a long weekend of Carnival balls, parades, and beads (as well as some inclement weather and the inevitable assortment of homophobic bible-thumpers telling all the gays that we’re doomed). But before we break out the bedazzler to spruce up our party gear, here are a couple of news bits you might find interesting:

1. Stupidity can’t fully explain homophobia. True, a recent study did find parallels between low IQs and homophobia — in fact, 68% of people with below-average cognitive abilities had homophobic tendencies. (That’s mimics a separate study on racism, which found 62% of males and 65% of females with below-average intelligence had racist tendencies, while only 35% of males and 38% of females with above-average intelligence felt the same.)

But the folks at BigThink offer some clarification:

The authors of this study have been quick to point out that they are not suggesting that everyone who has conservative beliefs are all stupid or that everyone who has liberal beliefs are all smart. Instead they are arguing that an ability to form your own beliefs, rather than taking those from an authority on faith, requires a confidence in your ability to think intelligently. In that respect, they are essentially arguing that left-wing liberal ideologies necessarily exclude people who lack the confidence to form their own opinions.

2. Speaking of bigots: Victoria Jackson equates riding the bus with communism. In a rambling tirade spewed to Huffington Post reporters at the recent hate-fest known as the Conservative Political Action Conference (which this year decided to ban even the most self-loathing gay groups), Jackson had this to say.

“The people of California voted that they did not believe that gay marriage — no gay marriage,” she explained to HuffPost Gay Voices. “They voted that. A judge, probably gay, activist judge, overturned that. That’s what I’m talking about — communism.”

She explained further that it could lead to living in pods. “Do you know what the housing is going to be like when we all live in a pod?” she asked. “And we all take public transit? It’s going to be Russia. It’s going to be Cuba.”

First of all: what?

And second of all: what?

Now don’t get us wrong: we appreciate Jackson’s implied love of cars, and although we don’t have anything against subways or ferries or other forms of public transportation, we know how much of a bummer it can be to take the bus when your car’s in the shop.

But seriously: gay marriage, communism, pod people, and mass transit, all in the same breath? Give that woman a round of applause.

One day scientists are going to get their hands on Victoria Jackson’s brain. Will they uncover the answers to the universe’s most pressing questions? Or just a heap of cat food held together by bits of string and twist-ties? We can’t wait to find out.