Just to clarify, a pocket bear is a gay man who identifies as a bear and is usually about 5-foot-6 or shorter and often less than 200 lbs. These men are indeed attractive, and unlike the straight world where shorter men are not desired by women seeking a man who is taller than they are, a shorter bear has no trouble hooking up – or looking up – in the bear world. These Pocket Bears know how to make plenty of room in their caves for all bears large and wide ….

…. and speaking of interior caves, the 2015 Dodge Dart has one of the roomiest interior cabins in the small / compact car class. And just like a Pocket Bear, the Dodge Dart can handle as many men as you can squeeze into what looks like a tight whole lotta space, because it is a whole lotta space. And wholesome it is as well, because with the Dodge Dart, there is no reason to limit your friends to whom you can hide in your cave.

I couldn’t find any good specifics on the interior room inside the 2015 Dodge Dart, but I can tell you that I got myself (at more than 1/10 a ton); three other men of largess and a skinny sexy otter into this car and we all were just fine. Sure, no room to do any exaggerated drag queen moves – but honestly, is there such a thing as a drag queen move that is not exaggerated? I was impressed with the roominess, and though every field trip does not involve carpooling, it’s nice to know that your friends don’t have to be in the cold when they could be in the dark in your Dart.

There is indeed some pep to this car. On the base SE trim, you get a 160 horsepower 4-cylinder engine, which is pretty standard for a small car. You aren’t going to win any races with this engine, and hopefully that’s not why you are looking at the Dart. You can upgrade to a turbo, which will definitely give you more pep, but then the price goes up. (Base price is $17,490.)

I had the pleasure of driving the GT trim, which comes with a 2.4 liter inline-4 “MultiAir” Engine. (Yeah, I thought MultiAir was something like a sampler platter at an oxygen bar, but it’s far more sophisticated, so click here for an explanation that won’t have any corny gay commentary by me.) The GT was a lot of fun to drive, but the differences in engines were kinda lost on me. This is, after all, a small car. Or a compact car. Regardless, it is an affordable one.

The interior is truly eye-catching, looking as though it came right from a Transformers movie. The interior I had was black with red accents. There are a lot of gauges but none seemed too crowded or difficult to understand, sorta like the instrumental panels on the Starship Enterprise. It’s a cockpit in the traditional sense and in the gay sense. It went nicely with the exterior red color to give it both a roadster and hipster look and feel.

The 2015 Dodge Dart, especially the GT, is a fun little car, but keep in mind that it is a small compact car and for the most part, it will act like one. Unlike a pocket bear who can go all night on a moment’s notice, the Dodge Dart can sometimes be sluggish when pushed, even with the turbo, and the only race you may win is the one to the KFC drive thru.

But just like a hot rocket pocket bear, you don’t have to be a towering inferno to impress or deliver. The 2015 Dodge Dart delivers all the goods and all the bears safely and with a fair amount of comfort. That makes your night of bear play and big burgers even more enjoyable, knowing that you can get it all in that tight wholesomeness the Dart offers anytime, anywhere.

Same-sex marriage will soon be legal in Michigan, but your party platter of Dart Bears is hot and ready for service now. In my very, very, gay bear world, life does not get any better than this.