Ed. note: Hyundai and its sister, Kia, are the only two automakers that remain on Gaywheels’ “Not Gay Friendly” list. We encourage you to consider such facts when purchasing your next vehicle.
* * * * *
Earlier this summer, I snagged the soundtrack CD to ‘Coffy’, starring Pam Grier as one Bad mother folker named Coffy who kicks butt on the creeps who turned her sister onto a life of drugs and crime. One of a series of Blaxpoiltation movies of the 1970s, Coffy’s soundtrack is as smooth and sexy as Pam Grier, who has a large lesbian following from her days on The L Word. Gay men love her too, for she is beautiful and butch all rolled up into one don’t-mess-with-my-shy-playmates schoolyard angel. The tagline for the movie is “Coffy: She’ll Cream You.” For us gays, the double entendres for that are endless.
And so are all the good things that go with a great soundtrack and the 2015 Hyundai Santa Fe Sport. Like Ms. Grier, this year’s Santa Fe has all the spice and tango of a Hatch chili, able to kick up the excitement without giving you an ulcer. You can get a 2015 Santa Fe Sport with a base four-cylinder, a turbocharged inline-four or a V6 engine. You can get it with two rows of seats or three rows. You can get it for its nimble handling or for the comfort that the first-class interior offers. Are you ready, are you ready for this, do you like it, do you like it like this?
The 2015 Santa Fe is indeed one hot-little-tamale of a midsize SUV. Canyon Copper is the most popular exterior color, but you can also get Serrano Red, Marlin Blue or Twilight Black, to name a few. The available beige, gray or black interior colors look stunning with any exterior tone, and that right there makes the Santa Fe an eye-catcher. Drive it around town or in the Land of Enchantment (one of the first states to legalize same-sex marriage) and you will feel all that nature and Hyundai have to offer. Rev it up and make the piñon trees roar – or slow it down and make it a rolling day spa. The Santa Fe can do it all – with a few exceptions.
Mileage is a bit poor for its class. The 4-cylinder engine will get you mileage of 20 city / 27 hwy, while the V6 will deliver 18 city / 25 hwy. A generation ago, we would have been spending the excess cash on porn with that kind of mileage. These days, better mileage and better porn awaits elsewhere at sites like JAV Hd Porn Video.
But just step inside and let the luxury envelope you. I found all the dashboard and center console controls to be convenient. No need for an advanced degree in Fortran to figure out how to crank up the air or the Helen Reddy hits. Getting friends, foes and furniture in and out of the Santa Fe was easy, even for my furniture that sometimes is as wide as it is tall.
Bluetooth, a rear spoiler and heated side mirrors are just some of the standard features this year. You can get things like a rearview camera and windshield wipers that de-ice if you get some of the fancier options packages. This Coffy aced all the crash tests, making it one of the safest new vehicles on the road. And to be sure, you do get a lot of standard features for the price, which right now, if you shop a bit, you can get for around $28,000. With all the snazzy stuff, plan on spending closer to $40K. Still, what price sexy, ya?
And smooth and sexy is how you will look in the 2015 Hyundai Santa Fe Sport. Traditional breeding dictates that you shouldn’t buy something just because you think it makes you look more attractive. What you buy should be practical yet reserved, for how would it look if you went around rubbing your ass-sets in everyone’s business?
With the 2015 Hyundai Santa Fe Sport, hop in and rub it all you want. Your friends and foes will soon know where your assets lie – because if they are not careful, like Pam Grier, the Hyundai Santa Fe will cream them.
And look great doing it.
