Let’s face it, the world just keeps getting gayer and gayer. Rainbow flags are replacing Confederate Flags. Transgender actress Laverne Cox is popping up on major magazine covers. Donald Trump is getting dumped with one big “Vamanos!” ….

But if there is one company that is not getting any gayer, it’s Subaru. Why? Because, honey, it was already one of the gayest companies on the planet, producing some of the gayest vehicles to roam the planet long before Dino the Dinosaur told Fred and Wilma Flintstone that he is questioning his orientation. Subaru has always bathed itself in rainbow colors: i.e. Tangerine Orange Pearl or Sunrise Yellow are just two of the Fruity Pebbles colors you can get when you buy the 2015 Subaru XV Crosstrek.

This car is compact but not small, stylish but not gaudy – and gay but not, you know, too gay …..

…. Wayzout, YES, Subaru is too gay – and we love it. Maybe it’s the look of the Crosstrek that gets my inner Gloria Gaynor going. It looks sporty and reliable, much like your favorite lesbian friend who has all the right heavy duty equipment, knows how to use it, and is seriously only interested in helping you get your work done. What’s not to like about that in anyone or any vehicle?

This year, the Crosstrek and all her sisters get standard rearview cameras and a 6.2-inch touchscreen for the dash. While rolling over haters and small bigots is always a lot of fun, the cops might not think so, especially if what you just ran over can prove it’s human. Thus, having a backup camera, even for a breezy compact like the Crosstrek, will save you time, money and grief. With this LGBT baby, The Closer You Are to those hateful bigots will not go unnoticed without loud beeps alerting you the impending sound of Chick-Fil-A sandwiches being crushed if you don’t hit the brakes.

But as with anything that gay, there are always critics who have to throw glitter in the punch bowl to see if anyone chokes. According to U.S. News and World Report, which compiles reviews from around the web, most reviewers think the 2015 Subaru XV Crosstrek is a little too mousy. Many of them love the fuel economy (a hwy / city combined of 29 mpg) and the handling. Yet many also feel that too little punch is delivered when needed.

I understand being in a situation that is over-the-top queer and not being able to deliver a good punch. The 2015 Crosstrek can be a bit mousy when it comes to kicking into gear on the highway to the county clerk’s office to get married. Given that it starts at just under $22,000 and is truly economical (who doesn’t like that in an outdoor buddy?), I don’t consider the lack of punch to be an issue – unless you really do want to kick arse like they do on RuPaul’s Drag Race when a queen has been cut.

I enjoyed driving the 2015 Subaru Crosstrek (which, incidentally, ‘XV’ in Roman Numerals is 15 – indeed, how gay is that?). The seats were comfortable, I loved the interior – which was a nice combo of flair and practical – and loved, loved, loved the pre-collision braking and lane departure warning that were part of the trim that I tested. Silly me, at one point I was looking for my favorite Amy Winehouse track, glanced a little too long at my iPhone and almost kissed the U-Haul in front of me. (I wasn’t going that fast, really. How fast can you possibly go if you are listening to Amy Winehouse?). Fortunately for my big gay asp, the pre-collision braking kicked in just as Ms. Winehouse was signing “no, no, no.” Even my half-caff Seattle’s Best survived my error. (Note: Pre-collision braking and lane departure warning will cost you extra, but if you are easily distracted by beauty, even your own, you should get the full package.)

In short, this is car for people who want a little style, can throw their own punches and need to save money on gas so they can spend it on themselves.

And …. it’s way too gay.

In this newfound era of gayness, one need not be too socially cautious about flying your rainbow flag – but should definitely be cautious when getting behind the wheel.

Be out. Be safe. Take care.