If you are looking for a snazzy Italian-number that has some utility-ness to it, the 2024 Alfa Romeo Stelvio may be worth a test drive.

This is the ultimate in luxury on a small-scale (dare I say cramped, but I am not exactly a ‘demure’, whatever that is anymore).

“Quick, accurate steering, precise handling, powerful engines, thrilling performance.” It’s all there, according to Edmunds.com, and I could not agree more.  It really is a traffic ticket just waiting to happen, especially if you don’t know how to properly drive a sportscar.

And believe it or not, the Stelvio is considered a Compact SUV, albeit a luxury one.  Yeah, well, okay, I can kinda see that.  It seats five, allegedly, but you really need to be working your Pilates every day and eating not much more than kale and smoothies to get your family of five (no Great Danes) in this sportscar / SUV.

This is a fun car, no doubt. Turbo. Zero to 60 in about 5.5 seconds.

Know upfront that Rear-Wheel Drive (so you can get that right-out-of-the gate power) is standard, and if you want AWD you have to go up the food chain.  When I learned this is considered an SUV of any sort, I chuckled because the Stelvio, in every way, shape and form, is a sportscar, especially when you have to strap yourself in, like I did.

I had the privilege of testing the Stelvio Competizione, an all-new trim for 2024.

Aside from the standard remote engine start, Brembo brakes, ambient lighting and a host of other goodies, the Competizione gives you 21-inch black wheels, paddle shifters, Harman-Kardon premium sound – and leather.  Everywhere. 

Prices start at $46K US for this compact SUV, so know that upfront.  It’s cramped.  But it’s a sportscar, really.  Enjoy the ride, seriously.

And yes, this is a car to enjoy, so make sure this is your second or third car.  Interior room for shopping is, shall we say, limited.  You can get a few bags of groceries back there.  But hauling stuff is not why you get this care.  Hauling arse – perhaps.

Car and Driver feels the Stelvio is very much like the Guilia, Alfa Romeo’s sedan hot rod that burns up European roads with impressive style. I’ve never driven a Guilia; I am not sure the Alfa Romeo powers-that-be will let me near one, even though my driving record is clean.

And I am fine with that.