We’re following two LGBT-related news items today — one of them odd, the other, just awesome. For kicks, let’s start with the odd:

Chicago cabbies aim to out five aldermen

It’s no secret that cab companies and taxi drivers across the country are worried about ridesharing services like Uber and Lyft. Oftentimes, their complaints fall into the crotchety, “git offa my proppity” category, making them sound like a bunch of old guys who don’t understand (or want to understand) technology like smartphones and apps. Ridesharing companies are all over the place, not just in the states but in the world. There are rideshare companies competing in NY as well as other areas, so not just with normal cab companies now but with ones equal to them, it is always a competition and both sides are butting heads.

But some of their beefs with start-ups are legit. For example, they complain that taxi drivers have to go through a lot of special (and pricey) licensing to be street-legal, and that, in turn, makes taxis safer for drivers and their passengers. Ridesharing services don’t have to do any of that.

Chicago appears poised to greenlight ridesharing programs, and Chicago Dispatcher (“Serving Chicago’s Taxicab and Livery Industry Since 2002”) isn’t happy about it. In a recent post, George Lutfallah claims to know of five city alderman who are secretly gay, and “In the next issue of this newspaper, set to be published early next month, we will disclose their names unless our demands are met”.

What are those demands you ask? Well, like we said, some seem sensible:

1. Actively enforce the existing ordinance that governs taxicabs. These ridesharing vehicles are private cars. They don’t even have the required roof light that indicates they are taxis, which makes it impossible for their riders to know they are getting in a vehicle that will transport them.

Others seem…off-topic:

5. Make rideshare drivers get a chest x ray as part of their annual renewal like the city-endorsed doctor had me do to renew my chauffeur’s license last month. The riding public has no idea if rideshare drivers have tuberculosis.

And plenty of others are batshit crazy insane:

4. Require rideshare drivers to pick up everyone like taxi drivers do. Some rideshare companies tell their drivers that they shouldn’t pick up people if they feel unsafe. This is ridiculous. Because of this practice, a lot of rideshare drivers are now women. One company boasts that 40 percent of its drivers are women. Taxi driving is a male-dominated profession and it should remain that way. The last place for a woman is behind the wheel. If a woman needs a ride somewhere, she will only feel safe if the driver is a man.

 

9. Ban the internet in the city of Chicago and require folks to buy newspapers.

 

10. Change the name back to the Sears Tower.

Because Lutfallah’s demands vacillate between the two extremes, it’s hard to tell if this is the most brilliant example of sarcasm ever written, or some Grade A-level crackpottery.

Anyway, the point of all this is that the author vows to out five of Chicago’s 50 aldermen unless they vote against ridesharing:

The five aldermen we will expose next month will only include those who have concealed their gay lifestyle to their constituents. They are public servants who have a duty to truthfully disclose their sexuality to the voters. They are living a lie. We even have it on good authority that a couple of them watch Duck Dynasty while eating carryout from Chick-fil-A.

So, fuckwits or not, at least they have a sense of humor.

Chrysler stands up to bullies

Back in the land of the normal people, Chrysler says that it will continue to support the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights’ bullying prevention initiative (i.e. RFK Project SEATBELT) for the forseeable future. It does so through its “Drive for the Kids” program, which helps schools raise money by donating $10 to those schools “on behalf of everyone who takes a brief test drive in a Town & Country minivan…or another Chrysler brand vehicle available for test drive on the day of a test drive event. ”

While that sounds like an awfully self-serving sales tactic, the upside is that it results in the distribution of some strong anti-bullying tools:

All schools participating in the Drive for the Kids program receive a kit from RFK Project SEATBELT with bullying prevention materials to share with their students and parents, and the Town & Country vehicles will play a video speaking to bullying prevention on its in-car video monitor during the drives.

That’s great news for schools and for their LGBT students. For more information about Project SEATBELT, visit bullying.rfkcenter.org.