Every year, the Rocky Mountain Automotive Press (this year boasting more LGBTs than ever) lets us landlocked car writers spend a couple of days to drive and review cars that have already been rushed to judgment some nine months previously. Yeah, yeah, we don’t get the 2015s, but most of you who want a new car will be just fine with a 2014 that’s had the tires kicked by someone else – and we did a lot more than just kick tires. Below are some of the cars I sampled, and as always, it’s an impressive lineup. Here are some of the Rocky Mountain highlights:
Dodge Challenger
I admit to having a crush, when I was very young, on David Cassidy of The Partridge Family. Back then, the colors he wore and the colors we drove were loud and bold. No color scheme was too extreme, even when it came to cars. The 2014 Dodge Challenger, an original muscle car, is a big throw-back to that time in history that prompted the invention of Clorox 2 for all those loud, mod clothes. You can get today’s challenger in orange (Header Orange Clear Coat, to be precise), just as you could some 40 years ago. Heck, the Challenger even comes with a Hemi. What’s that, something from Project Runway? A hemi is a supercharged type of engine, one used often in racing. Hemi is short for hemispherical, and …. Yeah, I don’t know what it is, but click here to learn more. Just be careful, since Chrysler actually owns the copyright on the word Hemi.
Lexus IS 350 F-Sport
We at Gaywheels love this version of the IS 350. It’s sporty, peppy, kicky, sexy – and stains just wipe right up. I officially declared it to be a Gay Car of 2014, but make no mistake, it’s perfect for breeders too. My car buddy and avowed heterosexual Tim Esterdahl considers himself a truck guy and even he loved the F-Sport. Check out his review to get a really straight perspective on something I feel is very, very gay.
Ram 1500 EcoDiesel (photo above)
Possibly the most exciting reincarnation to come along in sometime, the Ram 1500 has been winning fans and accolades across all spectrums, even among liberals and gays. As we have noted before, it’s big, it’s beautiful, and you’re gonna love it. It’s technically a light duty truck but it sure packs a punch when you need some heavy lifting. And there’s something about a ‘small-displacement’ (does that sound gay or what?) and other features which make this truck really unique in the half-ton pickup market. I can’t say I understand what a big deal this is, but click here for a simple yet thorough explanation of why this EcoDiesel V6 engine is the cat’s meow. The only reason I know about half-ton pickups (does that sound gay or what?) is because my father owned one and often had me run to the auto parts store for … something to do with the truck.
Toyota TRD Pro 4Runner
The Toyota 4Runner has always been the peppy little SUV that could do just about anything for less money than its more cumbersome brethren. Think of the 4Runner as Baby Bear and its bigger siblings, Tundra and Tacoma, as Mama Bear and Papa Bear. They are a cute trio out in the wilderness, and now finally, Toyota is offering powerful off-road packages on all three models. Known as the TRD (no jokes, please), this is the ultimate in off-road stuff for you off-road types. Once again, my straight buddy Tim has summed up nicely all the TRD packages here. In addition to the kick in power, you can get these vehicles in a new color called ‘Inferno’ and even get a ‘spicy’ package called Taco Supreme. I say it’s about time I can get a vehicle to match my spontaneous drive-thru diet.
Volkswagen GTI
Volkswagen offers a variety of sporty, snazzy trims on all of its cars, and I must admit, I’ve never really been able to figure them out. Suffice it to say that Volkswagens are German, and German engines are quite powerful and the GTI is no exception. You can only get this model with four doors, as the two-door hatchback is no longer available. Still, it’s great on the racetrack and when you need a little pep on your road trip, a tradition that goes back to the VW Rabbit and beyond. In fact, it more or less is the Volkswagen Golf but with a lot more power. And if you live in Jolly Ole England, you can download an app to your smartphone that will select music to go with your driving style, speed and mood. Sometimes, those Brits get a leg up on the colonies, even without the help of Daniel Craig or Sean Connery. Or Adele or Amy Winehouse.