Lots of companies sell products designed to improve customer relationships. In fact, there’s currently a boom in software that skims data from clients’ public profiles on Facebook, Twitter, Google, and elsewhere to show their likes, dislikes, personal relationships, and more.

But none of those companies — at least none that we’ve ever seen — promise to drop a Braveheart/Beowulf mountain of muscle into your auto dealership, turn your co-workers into chanting pagans, and force you to suckle at the hulking daddy’s beefy tit.

Strange? Yes, but in time, we could get used to it.