That’s still so gay: 2016 Lexus ES350 is perfect for the hipster, hep cat, modern housewife (or those who just look like one)

Last week, Dave Bear gave us his take on the 2016 Lexus ES350. Today, we hear Sam’s views on the luxury sedan…

2016 Lexus ES350A reader recently commented that while he liked my car reviewers (well, that’s what I read), he asked why everything I write has to be such a gay cliché.  I will admit, he has a point.  In response, all I can say is that I spent too many years trying to play it straight and narrow (nobody bought it) that nowadays (and for the past 25 years) I am soooo gay that I am admittedly way over the top when it comes to the glitter, gay and Gaga. To be sure, I’m as gay as a goose: the more you goose me, the gayer I get.

Personally, I think that’s a good thing, and when it comes to cars, why shouldn’t they too flaunt their true colors loudly and proudly?  One car company that knows how to do that – unabashedly – is Lexus, and the ES350 is the car carrying the grand marshal in that big gay parade.

2016 Lexus ES350This is one of those affordable (depending on your perspective) luxury (from every point of view) cars that starts at just under $40,000, which is cheaper than the Audi A6 or Mercedes Benz E-Class cars, which are also considered midsized luxury. Indeed, the luxury is luxury here, and while you will need a bit more than a beer bottle budget, you won’t need money for Veuve Clicquot.

This is one smooth ride, even for backseat passengers with long legs. The ES350 has been described as “entry-level” luxury, which, okay, I guess it doesn’t matter which entrance you take into a snazzy suite. For 2016, Lexus has designed a cabin that is better at keeping out the noise and accentuating whatever is going on inside the car, with or without a Prince soundtrack (R.I.P.). There really is no ‘sport’ option for the ES350, but with a standard 3.5-liter, 268-hp V6 engine, you will have no trouble leaving ‘em in the dust (but be kind, at least call paramedics).

2016 Lexus ES350The only downside, of which everyone seems to agree, is that the navigation joystick is just a bit too difficult for fast forwards or fat fingers. To me, the joystick is a bit too sensitive. While driving, I would land the cursor on my selection only to get bumped into another screen because my hand moved with just a little too much force.  This might not be a problem except that when I was driving, my hand on the mouse was so jerky that I wound up on a sports radio station while cranking up the defrost …. oh, I get it, I’m supposed to keep my hands on the wheel.  Well, suffice to say that caution is advised.

Regardless of its joystick, the 2016 ES350 is still a very gay car.  Sure, like Lexus, I may be too gay for my own good, if such a thing exists.  But trust me, no one ever says a man is too hetero if he breathes and lives sports radio, power tools, microbrews, hot chili nachos and Iron Man and Iron Chef competitions…..

Hmm.  I wonder where that man goes for his glitter and maybe I have bumped into him …..