Come heaven or high waters from hurricanes named Harvey, Irma and Maria, bears just plow through–and they usually do it with a fair amount of food. The Key West Bear Weekend (October 19-23) is still on: all the hotels are open and a party is guaranteed amongst the cleanup that will still be going on. Normally, I would recommend a flashy, dashy luxury car for all your adventures that weekend. But in October, where many a road and a bear in Key West may still need to be navigated, I would go for something strong and big and reliable. And for many of us, the one truck that comes to mind is the classic Ford F-150.
There are so many variations on the F-150 that you should consult with a Ford expert to see which one would be best for you (assuming you need, want and can afford a truck). There’s no such thing as ‘too big’ in the truck world anymore, as you can get a crew cab (seats four to six) and a long bed all in one luxurious or basic truck.
I tested the 4×4 Supercrew trim. When you get a ‘Supercrew’ (“I’m super, thanks for asking.”), you get a truck with four full-sized doors, thus no need to stick your otter- and wolf-sized passengers in back just because they can get into tighter spaces.
There is nothing like the feel of being in a big butch truck that everyone fears when you’re behind the wheel. Sure, flexibility is limited, and parking does have to be planned in advanced, but the stellar tow and payload ratings for the F-150 make it the darling of the Home Depot Contractor parking lot (which is essentially princess parking for the butch set). I helped my brother get dozens of 50-lbs. bags of sand and supplies, and while I was a wreck in between sandbags, the F-150 handled all that and more without breaking a sweat or overheating. Yeah, yeah, that’s as butch as I get (I should have taken some photos).
The F-150 is considered a light duty truck, but trust me, this is not a car for lightweights of any kind (my 1/8-ton frame can attest to that). Prices start at an affordable $27,110 and can go beyond $33,650 depending on which toppings you add to this helluva pizza. Mileage ain’t bad for the segment, garnering a combined 20 mpg for most trims (yes, girlz, weight and drag do affect your economy).
Keep in mind that the F-150 for the past few years has had an all-aluminum body, not unlike the new Iron Man, who is too fluid to possibly be made of iron. Many truck people don’t care for aluminum, but it does make the vehicle much lighter than if it were made of steel. (Hmm, Iron Man vs. Superman. Heck, just buy more pizza and bring them both home.)
Key West has always been a great LGBTQ vacation destination, and though it was battered badly by Hurricane Irma, word on the island is that everything will soon be up and running and fabulous in no time. Right now, I’d take a big butch truck to the island and see who I could help.
A man of steel or iron just might need a lift to get a generator and a backhoe….
