Excuse Me, I’m Looking for a Red Stick
Astute readers will notice that something in the header photo above seems out of place……..could it be the right rear tire of our beloved Saab 9-3 occupying space in the rear of the car? Or did Parker watch The Transformers too many times and practice transforming in the confines of the Saab. Sadly, it was the former and the story behind the incapacitated wheel is just the beginning of a long and fascinating day on the Fireball Run.
It all started in downtown Baton Rouge, LA as the sun came up and the sticky air got inconceivably warmer. With all the cars lined up we were handed our clues, instructed to open our packets and began the first of many insane attempts to find the first clue. Imagine two grown gay men screaming at each other, the OnStar operator and at least two other people on the phone as other grown men in big, expensive, powerful machines tear around downtown Baton Rouge looking for a big red stick. Yes, it sounds ridiculous but in hindsight it was a lot of fun. I won’t go into details but after a few mishaps we navigated properly to Southern University and the sight of the tree that had blood smeared on it in the early 17th century thus earning it a marker designation of “Baton Rouge” by a passing French explorer. Who said we weren’t going to learn anything?
The next clue involved having our photo taken in front of a statue of a famous politician from Baton Rouge. You see that photo of me in front of that large statue? That isn’t it. Team G.L.A.M., along with just about every other team in the event, spent a rather ridiculous amount of time taking pictures in front of the wrong statue and then waiting for our event organizers to show up to hand us our next clue. After 10 minutes of waiting, the natives got restless and began creating wild interpretations of the clue that caused us to frighten the employees of the state capital enough for them spill the beans that we were not in the correct locale. Ah, grown men and women asking ridiculous questions of octogenarian government employees as if the answer held all the secrets to the universe. Baton Rouge will never be the same.
It was after we solved the second clue that our luck turned on us. On our way out of Red Stick and on our way to find the smallest chapel in the world in I’m-so-small-I-cannot-occupy-any-of-joe’s-memory, LA a metallic object struck our rear wheel. Take two grown gay men after a few hours of running around like school children solving clues in weather that can only be described as soupy and blow out their tire on a bridge in the middle of traffic. I’ll allow you to fill in the blanks with your imagination. Reality is most likely not too far off of what you come up with. Alas, we changed the tire in about 10 mins and were off to complete the clues.
We made it to the chapel, then the lunch stop and then to the official finish line in Beaumont, TX (the world’s largest fire hydrant…look it up) where we had a reception and were handed trophies by the mayor of Beaumont. Comical to Kitsch in one day. I can’t wait for tomorrow!
PS: A HUGE thanks to my sister Liz and her partner Susan. They received multiple phone calls and were privy to a few situations were screaming was involved. Couldn’t have done it without you.
Check back tomorrow for an update from our first track day where Evan Darling will be pushing the limits of the Saab 9-3 Aero rather than my patience 🙂