Pontiac G(rrrrrr)8: Tony the Tiger Would Roar Twice as Loud For This One

by Cocoa Efficient

I’m a girl with an eye for style. I’m also a girl with an eye for value, fun and power—lots and lots of power. So when Pontiac delivered me its newest sedan, one that banishes memories of the bloated Bonneville and ushers in a new era of performance, I must admit more than just my curiosity was aroused. The car is the G8, an Australian transplant made over in Pontiac garb and powered by its rear wheels. With its taut chassis and choice of V6 or V8 engines, this car has the statistics to take on the best from Europe and Japan. But do all the parts come together to form the perfect storm?

A quick sizing up reveals a car whose lines are sophisticated yet tantalizingly playful. The G8’s skin is not flashy or flamboyant in the way the Dodge Charger brags, but it is distinct enough to garner its fair share of attention. The familiar split grille with honeycomb mesh is highlighted by two subtle hood scoops reminiscent of the early 70s Formula Firebird. The G8’s wheels, 17-inchers on the V6 and 18s on the GT, are pushed to the outer edges giving the G8 a solid and stable appearance. Around back, GT trims receive crystal clear tail lamp elements and four big, chrome exhaust ports. Grrrrrr indeed!
While the exterior is a bit of a departure for Pontiac, the G8’s interior is leotard leaps and buxom bounds above the norm. The nicely textured plastics are handsomely tailored to create a cockpit that is both driver and passenger friendly. Little design cues, such as the power window switches on the center console and the Blaupunkt audio system, expose the G8’s overseas pedigree. Apparently Aussies are as horizontally-challenged as most Americans, because not only are the G8’s sport seats extremely comfortable they are also extremely wide, with electrically adjustable seat bottoms that can angle high enough to support the longest legs. Rear seat passengers should be happy with their surroundings also, provided they are not too long in the torso.

Driving the G8 is a bit like whirling Lisa Lampanelli around the dance floor: she can breeze through all the moves, but you’ll feel her weight at every turn. Road manners are good, not quite BMW 3 Series good, yet easily a match for the Dodge Charger/Chrysler 300 twins, and far and way better than most of the front-drive performance sedans in the G8’s $30,000 price range. Even fuel consumption is easily swallowed, with the V6 rated at 17-city/25-highway, and the V8 at 15-city/24-highway.
Budget minded enthusiast will find the V6 model more than adequate, with brisk acceleration, good handling and civilized ride. Balls-to-wall speed freaks like me, however, will settle for nothing less than the potent GT. Despite the lack of a proper manual transmission, the G8’s six-speed automatic and 361-horsepower 6.0-liter V8 can usher this 4,000-pound hulk to 60 mile per hour in a scant 5.3 seconds. Power is available no matter what the speed, and stopping power is equally impressive (just ask the thankful ground squirrel that almost ended up as my new muff.)

From the driver’s seat, the view forward is fairly unobstructed, but the wide front windshield pillars create blind spots big enough to hide Divine from view. If I had to gripe (and I always have to gripe), the interior color palate could do with a bit more contrasting materials, and although OnStar’s Turn-by-turn navigation is standard I do miss the comforting glow of a built in navigation screen.
With the V6 starting around $27,000 and the V8 just under $30,000, it’s hard to argue with the performance to dollar ratio. Toss in heated leather seats, 19-inch wheels and a power sunroof and you have a performance-oriented touring machine with a distinctly American bent, all for around $33,000. It’s enough to make even this tired old tart moist.
Photos care of Adam Barrera and Pontiac

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