That’s So Gay: 2013 Lexus RX350

2013 Lexus RX3502013 is proving to be the year of the LGBT. The U.S Supreme Court can’t stop talking about us, and neither can liberal Washington or intolerant Washington.  Everywhere you look, there are “known homosexuals”, as the more flamboyant of us were called generations ago.  Heck, we even have an openly gay NBA player to look up to (literally, at seven feet). Indeed, we are the new ‘it’ girl of the post-Law and Order generation.

You can count on Gaywheels to be on top of this trend.  Whereas “that’s so gay” was the harassing taunt to many a queer student, we are now taking that phrase back and using it positively to tell you how car makers have embraced us and our gayness.  My car reviews will be titled “That’s So Gay”, as I will tell you what makes these cars gay, something you can’t find anywhere else on the web.  Let’s begin.

The 2013 Lexus RX350 has a way of making headlines long after it made a Detroit showroom premiere last century. U.S. News and World Report ranks this year’s model as No. 1 in the Luxury Midsized SUV, Luxury Crossover, and Luxury SUV with Two Rows categories. That’s like being crowned Vanessa Williams, Lynda Carter and Sandra Bullock (each armed and fabulous) all at once.

2013 Lexus RX350 F-Sport

Fellow Gaywheels.com writer James Hamel reviewed the Rx350 F-Sport and enjoyed the handling, the maneuvering, and the overall look of the car.  His hetero counterparts throughout the web, however, complained that the extra kicks of the F-Sport were needless, pricey, and a drag on performance.

Hmm. Perhaps when you’re gay you see things that others don’t.  I’m going with James’ recommendation. Note: The F-Sport comes with 19-inch wheels, one inch longer than the regular RX350. Sometimes inches do make you feel better.

The regular RX350 trim is better enjoyed by reviewers all over the internet, but fear not. Sure, these breeders like the new grilles (more striking than those of 2012) and find that the expected luxury and quiet of the Lexus brand is still intact and front and center.

So then, what’s so gay about the 2013 Lexus RX350?

You and your RX will look fabulous together: This car will allow you to have all the fun of Lucy and Ethel or LaVerne and Shirley, while looking as stunning as Brad and Angelina or Portia and Ellen. This is really an elegant car. The interior is refined, the design isn’t bulky like other SUVs, and even the cup holders exude glamour.

Bengt Halvorson of The Car Connection says of the 2013 RX trims, “They’re upscale, but not ostentatious.”  For reference, Merriam-Webster defines ostentatious as “marked by or fond of conspicuous or vainglorious (boastful) and sometimes pretentious display”. What’s wrong with that?  America has a hang-up about pretense, but as LGBTs, we’ve spent our entire lives learning and refining pretense. Tell the truth and you get kicked out of the Boy Scouts — or play a charade and entertain your friends while feeling good about yourself.  I’ve spent most of my life being ostentatious with no apologies. Now that LGBTs are to 2013 what Katy Perry was to whipped cream canisters, it’s time to start the show.

2013 Lexus RX350This is the Jane Jetson car you’ve always wanted.  Yes, that day has arrived where a car is a bunch of buttons waiting to be pushed. Everything is at the push of the button, including engine start and navigation, which, to be honest, is a bit tricky to operate. To use the navigation, you have to use a joystick right above the gear shifter.  Enform, the Lexus navigation system, is decent but it is a bit of a departure from a touchscreen. Caution is advised.

Fabulous straight-mom Kristen Varela of Cars.com found that when she wasn’t pushing a button, she had plenty of storage space for all her accessories and mom stuff.  She found, however, that at 5 foot 3 inches in flats, she was just a bit too short to easily get in the Rx350, nothing that the vehicle sits just a “smidgen” too high. Still, Kristen V did find the pass-through storage area between the driver and passenger seat to be more than sufficient for her evening bag. How gay is that?

What else is gay? The 2013 Lexus Rx350 is quiet, which means Ke$ha or Bruno Mars won’t have to fight with an engine to be heard.  Your girlfriend, boyfriend, or other of significance won’t have to fight with the road rage either. Sure, the hum of the engine — and the whirl of the air conditioner that you haven’t checked since 2003 — add to the driving experience.  But when it comes to a peace of mind that is challenged every day, knowing that your car can sit still (while going fast) means you’re one step closer to karma. Or Dharma.

What’s not gay – and thus, not cool – about the RX350?

Price: You can get into a base RX350 for $39,300. Let’s be honest, that’s a down payment on a home.  The RX only gets better with several great options packages (like the Mark Levinson sound package) but again, there goes your money. If you are way too groovy, you don’t need a snazzy car to help your image.  And if you are a big sourpuss, this car won’t help.

Mileage: You only get 18 city/24 highway with the RX350. Yeah, not bad, but most of us have to watch our pennies these days, as evidenced by the mid-range booze I’ve seen gays buying lately. To be sure, the RX350 will cost you. Before signing on the dotted line, make sure money — and your significant other — really are no object. Or obstacle.

The RX competes with the Acura RDX, Audi Q5, and Cadillac SRX. If you have children, this may not be your vehicle.  It’s too nice.  Not that parents can’t have nice things, but one soggy bowl of Cheerios or a box of Juicy Juice can ruin even the most luscious of chariots.

So before you enjoy the Lexus experience, make sure you have the cash or credit line, the safe significant other who will support you, and someplace to drive where you can be on the runway of automotive fashion.  The 2013 Lexus RX350 — now on sale as the model-year year closes out — says you’ve arrived.

Out and loud or breathless and closeted, who doesn’t like to make an entrance?  Even when you’re leaving….

3 thoughts on “That’s So Gay: 2013 Lexus RX350

  1. Q5 all the way. Or better yet, give up some cargo space, go for style and luxury and get an Evoque. The Lexus is a rolling tampon dispenser.

    1. Get an Evoque? Seriously? And spend all my free time at the Land Rover service department? Get a Lexus LS570 and really rule the road.

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