2014 Chevy Volt Is Cheaper, Sexier, And Roomier

2014 Chevrolet VoltI figured at some point, most of American would accept lesbians and gays — and thus the whole “are you the man or the woman” issue would become a non-starter.

Admittedly, I haven’t been asked if I am the man or the woman in a relationship in years, but recently, I was asked by Chevrolet to be part of an LGBT test-drive of the Chevy Volt.  Yes, heterosexuals were allowed, but those in attendance were clearly festive and flamboyant, which to me is a good thing.  Flames don’t drown.

This invitation followed on the heels of last year’s great LGBT ad campaign where the Chevy Volt announces “Mom, Dad, I’m Electric.”  How gay and fabulous is that? The ad campaign was a big hit and established the Chevy Volt as clearly a gay car. Seems like the Chevy Volt has only gotten more gay, and that means you can take it farther without having to stop at every men’s room at a rest area to recharge your battery.

The Chevy Volt is an electric car, which means it has an all-electric engine but uses a gasoline-powered generator to recharge the batteries if they run out while the car is on the road. Because of this, Chevy differentiates it from a hybrid, since other cars labeled “hybrids” have two engines, an electric and a conventional-fuel one. One of the benefits of an electric engine, as opposed to a conventional one, is that it has full torque at start-up, making it quick to accelerate from a full stop. That means the Volt combines the zippiness of an always-electric engine with the security of a gasoline backup if the battery drains. It has an initial electric range of 38 miles, at which point the gas generator seamlessly kicks in to provide electricity for up to 380 total miles without plugging in or refueling.

2014 Chevrolet VoltYeah, yeah, all that Big Bang Theory stuff can make a girl feel as dumb as Penny, the blonde neighbor on the show who never graduated from community college. Let’s just say the Chevy Volt can take you farther than before, has more room and is more stylish and — now, finally — this is a car worth a serious look.

I remember seeing a prototype of the Volt a few years back and thought, ugh, this is not going to start or end well. Yet from sneak peek to premiere, the Volt not only came out like a Tony nominee but actually walked away as Motor Trend’s Car of the Year, the North American Car of the Year at the Detroit Auto Show – and even won Car of the Year in Europe!

Alas, I still was not impressed.  The one that I tested back in President Obama’s first term needed to be recharged — a lot. Planning trips was tough because of the uncertainty of its reliability, so spontaneous impulses were totally out of the question.  I gave the car a pass — until now.

2014 Chevrolet VoltThus, we ask, what makes the Chevy Volt “So Gay”? Everything. The Volt has come from being a delight for ecologists and groovy straight people to now being a very gay car in which everyone, including homophobes, can look fabulous while driving.  Seriously, the Volt is that gay. You can feel confident that the Chevy Volt will get you wherever you want to go in style and comfort. And for a reasonable amount of your hard-earned cash.

“The Volt is a compact car but felt sufficiently roomy for two women, a tall-ish boy, and our luggage, even on a long trip,” according to Dana Rudolph of Mombian.com, a website of “Sustenance for Lesbian Moms.” Rudolph, her partner and her son were also on the LGBT drive and had a great time as well. Indeed, the Chevy Volt almost sings “We Are Family” as well as Sister Sledge does.

2014 Chevrolet VoltThere are a number of good-to-great features available at different price levels. Here are a few that stand out:

If you get Safety Package 2, you get the Forward Collision Alert system. This feature is great for queens who are easily distracted by men who look like Channing Tatum or who always perform dance moves while driving.  This system doesn’t stop the car, but it does alert you – loudly — if you are approaching too close or are having a little too much fast, furious and fabulous fun behind the wheel.  The Lane Departure Warning system, which lets you know when you are straying from the straight and narrow, is also part of Safety Package 2.

And get this: in California and New York, merely driving a Volt allows you the use the HOV lane. Finally, two very blue states have realized that when you’re gay, you need to get to where you are going fast and can’t be slowed by people with children, jobs and other responsibilities that really weigh you down.

Here’s the real cherry on the cupcake: Chevy has decided that the 2014 Volt will be $5,000 less than 2013. Wow, Dinah Shore (you real girls know who she is) was right; it’s time to See the USA in your Chevrolet.

My best guess is that electric cars will be the cars of the future, as we deplete more and more of our planet’s limited supply of crude oil. How long that will take is anyone’s guess, but now that LGBTs are having more children than ever before, perhaps we should start thinking about preserving our planet — even for our straight children, who we will love and respect no matter what society may think of them.