2016 Lexus LX 570: A rolling living room of luxury and class

2016 Lexus LX 570So, just what can you buy for $88,888?

I really can’t imagine anyone asking that question.  If you have the money, you probably don’t care too much about price.  And if you don’t have the money, it’s all a bit like Dungeons & Dragons with varying levels of meaningless powers (don’t take offense, boys, I didn’t mean to disparage the game – or you).

If you are into big and fancy and stylish and like to take it with you wherever you go, 88-grand can get you the very premium Lexus LX 570, which is their top-tier level of elegance with all kinds of superpowers.  This is a nice, nice car, and a big, big Sport Utility Vehicle, to be precise. It’s a truck (well, it’s built on a truck platform) but it’s also a limo – and it’s also living room on wheels, unless you happen to be the chauffeur.

2016 Lexus LX 570Standard equipment on this money-is-no-object beauty includes a 5.7-liter 32-valve V8 engine that delivers 383 horsepower and 403 lbs.-ft. of torque.  Just think of all the damage you could do with that! The 4-Wheel-Drive is full-time, so just in case you see a dirt road that you just have to take, you can do so with confidence (watch the hot lattes in the cup holders). Power moonroof, navigation, 360-degree cameras – and a full 12.3 inches of scream screen with which to enjoy it all. Perhaps the one accessory to really love on the 570 is the Forward Collision Warning with Automatic Braking. That’s the technology where the car brakes for you when you are too inattentive to notice that you are about to slam into the car in front of you.  Hey, we’ve all been there, sometimes with severe financial or physical consequences. Also standard is lane departure warning (for when those dance moves get a bit exaggerated), front and rear parking sensors (for when object in front of you appear smaller and safer than they really are), blind spot monitoring (you never know who’s approaching and who you can’t see) and rear cross-traffic alert (sometimes you really should know if someone is approaching too fast from the rear).

2016 Lexus LX 570The 2016 Lexus LX 570 has not been updated in awhile, so if that’s a consideration, well…. this beauty is always luxurious and stylish no matter what time frame or Time Warp you are driving in. Comparable cars include the Cadillac Escalade (one of my favorites) and the Land Rover Range Rover (something really out of my price range). If you’ve got the money, honey, I would take them all for a drive. IMHO, the Land Rover is better off-road and the Escalade gives better bling.  So if you are looking for something that is a nice combination of both, I’d look at the Lexus LX 570. Sometimes you want to be everything to everybody, including yourself.  The 2016 Lexus LX 570 can be all things at the same time, again, if you’ve got the money, honey.

It wasn’t that long ago that you could buy a decent one-bedroom condo in a nice gay city for around $88,888. Those days are gone, I fear, and if they ever do come back, the entire world of money and bitcoins could be on the verge of collapse. If you are still trying to make a name for yourself or if the name you made for yourself was not made of money, you really shouldn’t look at LX 570.  It could be too painful.

Instead, have your rich friends drive you around in one. Every LGBT should have at least one rich friend. And trust me, those Windsors and Spencers and Thurston and Lovey Howells of the world like to have commoners as friends too.

Look how well it worked for Prince William. 

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