2018 Nissan Rogue: If you can vogue, you can Rogue

Not that you should ever start describing the love of your life by listing all known faults, but allow me to jump right in and mention the two things I don’t like about the 2018 Nissan Rogue: tight seats and poor visibility.  There.  Now, on to the good stuff….

The Nissan Rogue has become the darling of the car world over the last few years, and for good reason. It’s a stylish little compact SUV, or whatever category it is in. (Honestly, I can’t keep up with all the sub-genres and micro-categories in the car world.) It’s attractive, for starters.  Colors abound, and they all come with a metallic, space-age hue that screams “George Jetson really was banging Han Solo!” (A tip of the hat to the new Solo movie, which has come and gone rather quietly.)

The Rogue is also a smart car in more than just the techno, whiz-bang way. It’s small enough to get you around town–and by town, I mean the Castro, Metroplex, Montrose, Little Havana, the French Quarter, Halsted Street, Commercial Street, and all the other gay ghettos that don’t have much room for parking because our fabulousness (and all the breeders who want to crash our glitter party) take up so much room. However, the Rogue is also big enough to get you, your friends, and a crockpot full of Ro-Tel to wherever it is you’re going. Just don’t spill the dip, because Velveeta is a bitch to clean up.

I admit that much of today’s technology escapes me: I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn (I saw that on a refrigerator magnet). Lotsa technology is available on today’s Nissan Rogue, but you do have to pay extra for it, and in some cases, it isn’t even available on lower-end trims. One feature I really like it Nissan’s ProPILOT Assist. This really is a lifesaver because it keeps you alert (wakes you up, if it has to) and helps keep you in your lane when it senses that you may be drifting.  It’s designed to combat driver fatigue, and let’s face it, we’ve all had that. Even though there are people I’d love to strangle, I’m all for anything that saves lives.

You can get into the 2018 Rogue for just under $25,000, and you’ll get 26 city / 33 highway mpg. Go up the food chain, and you can easily spend another ten grand just to get all the snazzy stuff and safety features.  But if your friends have largess that just keeps getting larger, caution is advised.  This car is for all those LGBTQI+s who can still feast like a king, dance like a queen and bounce around the room like a jester.