2018 Toyota Sequoia: For when you need to move more than just four adults

The Toyota Sequoia is just like its namesake: big and strong, but can take you down if you are not careful.

Well, this Sequoia would never take you down and never take you for a frivolous ride unless that’s what you want. It’s one of the few vehicles out there that can safely and comfortably haul six adult-sized passengers (caution, bears), and that puts it in a special league of its own. The handling is good, and the ride is comfortable, even with a powerful V8 engine that likes to drink (and who doesn’t?). If you need a big, big, big vehicle for hauling big, big, big passengers, this is your vehicle.

I drove this beauty around Texas for Texas Bear Roundup early this summer.  I got Steve, Paul, Eric, Tom, Dave and who knows who else into the vehicle, hauling them around Dallas for barbecue, fajitas, wet underwear contests, retro disco dances and other fun times that TBRU can offer up to the large-man-about-Texas set. Every year, a bunch of hearty men come from all over the region to invade Dallas for a weekend of fun and frivolity that is free of any true meaning or depth (by design).  Such an event takes a rugged vehicle, and every year, my friend Eric with DriveShop in Grand Prairie never lets me down.  This year, he recommended the 2018 Toyota Sequoia.  It was just what we needed, especially for those lazy hazy crazy days of Dallas freeways.

The Sequoia is a heavy-duty SUV and that’s how you must think of it.  If you are looking for overly splashy or completely up-to-date, this ain’t it.  You may not need a truck, but you may need a big-ass SUV that is built like a truck because it’s built on a truck platform and thus performs like a truck.  That’s the Toyota Sequoia, which is admittedly the same as it was last year and the year before that, more or less.  This is a heavy, three-ton vehicle before you add your friends, a truck that gets an average 14 miles to the gallon on a 5.7-liter, 381 horsepower, 401 pound-feet of torque with a DOHC V8 engine–which, of course, you need to haul three tons of fun around town.

You can get into the 2018 Sequoia starting at $48,400 and you can get it in white or black or some very simple butch colors like dark blue or dark red or battleship grey. Hey, this isn’t a glam truck.  In fact, I dare say there is nothing glam about the Sequoia.  Oh sure, you can gussie it up for Pride and know that you can hitch a trailer to it and it will perform well even in the hottest and/or slowest of parades. It’s also quite capable off-road, but as Edmunds.com notes, “This isn’t a vehicle you’ll want to try to squeeze down a tight, narrow trail.” How many times have we heard that in our fabulous gay lives?

If you are one of those QTGLBI+s who lives were the cows and sheep run free and have the room and the revolving line of credit for such a beast, the 2018 Toyota Sequoia could be the new animal you need to make your Farmville complete. Just sayin’…….

I have no idea what a real farm is like.  I have always assumed that milk and eggs just magically appear at Kroger every day.

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