The Audi nameplate is a current favorite with Gen Z and other young adults who politely call me ‘sir’ (as opposed to old fart, thank you), as well as with kids like you and others who might really enjoy the fun and nimbleness of the 2026 Audi SQ5, a Compact ‘Performance’ SUV that truly is a blast to drive, even when you are just taking it on a joyride to pay late fees for your night classes.

According to U.S. News and World Report, my top source of automotive news and critique, this year’s SQ5 is the top (of 2) Compact Performance SUVs of 2026.  And just what does that mean?

The terms ‘compact’ and ‘’performance’ might seem at odds with each other.

‘Compact’ indeed means ‘snug’ and inherently that means short on frills like speed, cornering and smoothness. That all changed at the turn of this century, when I noticed this seemingly-sudden consumer demand for ‘compact luxury’.

Soon, I was testing these cracker-box cars that were styled like one of Joan Crawford’s estates.

Then came the performance options, like high-powered engines, performance tires and brakes, paddle shifters, aggressive exterior styling (mostly black) and an overall look that would make even Mighty Mouse feel goth.

And yet it all worked.

With this year’s SQ5, you get a 3.0-liter V6 turbo that cranks out 362 horses and 406 pound-feet of torque (paired with a 7-speed dual clutch automatic transmission and Quattro All-Wheel Drive, for those who are following along).

You also get adaptive sport suspension and 20-inch alloy wheels, which make the car look bigger than it really is.

On top of that, this Speedy Gonzales can go from 0 to 60 in just 4.6 seconds, which is very impressive for any car.

You will need at least $65K US to get into this agile rocket, yet for handling tight corners and tight situations with the utmost control and a fair amount of speed without spilling your guts (or your smoothie), you do need something that is more like a jockey and less like a linebacker.

The 2026 SQ5 is answering the call.

Mileage estimates are 21 city / 28 highway, which are impressive giving the power of the engine.  The center touch screen is 14.5-inches, and the digital instrument cluster is 11.9 inches, both of which are huge for a compact car.  Other cool stuff includes panoramic sunroof, power liftgate, Bang & Olufsen 19-speaker audio and a very full suite of safety features, to name a few.

So you know, there is an almost identical Audi Q5, which is tamer, cheaper and focuses more on that compact luxury aspect of driving and less about being a speedball behind the wheel. The 2026 Q5 starts at around $53K US

Now, onto Speedy Gonzales, a truly historical character that is either loved or hated in many communities who identify as Latino.

To be frank, I have always had a love / hate relationship with Speedy Gonzales.

Growing up, he was used as an insult by my tormentors, who pointed to him to show how people with names like Gonzalez or Gomez or Gutierrez would never amount to anything worthwhile.

When he was created by Warner Brothers in 1953, the Unted States’ hate for anyone with brown skin was in full force. That same year, President Dwight D. Eisenhower launched Operation Wetback (I kid you not, that was its name) to forcibly remove anyone who looked Mexican from the United States and transport them back to Mexico, regardless of situation, or whether or not they were actually Mexican.

I could go on, but as readers of gaywheels.com, you are so educated, you already know all the histories and stories.

Over the years, many Latin Americans, including the very influential League of United Latin American Citizens, have come to embrace Speedy Gonzalez, showing how he may be small and speak with broken English, but he always outsmarts El Gato (Sylvester), and he always takes care of his community.  I too have come around to this line of thinking, on top of the fact that his cartoons are truly funny.

(Question: Is it really broken English just because it does not sound like proper English, whatever the hell that is? People with accents get arrested when they should be seen as intelligent because they can communicate in two languages.  Just a thought.)

Ultimately, Speedy Gonzales is a hero to many.  And comparisons can be a compliment.

Here, I am using it as a compliment, but I always like to give context – along with some education.

But here I am going off on a tangent again………..