That’s So Gay: 2015 Chrysler 200 Is A Geek Goddess For All Gays

Despite a rather lackluster moniker, the 200 may finally be getting a seat at the cool kids’ table.

2015 Chrysler 200Previously from Nurse Jackie, I wrote about all the whiz-bang features that are available on the 2015 200 (or, just dial 201-5200), noting how it can brake itself, park itself and keep you from moving forward while you unlatch your seatbelt to grab you extra biggie No. 3 with chili fries from the drive thru window. All those techy / safety features are now on dealer lots, and this car is definitely worth a look if you are tech savvy, a careless driver or just like to be ahead of the coolness curve while your friends are still driving the 2014 Fiat 500L (still a cool car).

The 200 starts at $21,700 and can get you up to 36 miles per gallon on the highway. This really is one of the safest cars on the road (at an extra cost, to be sure), having been named as a Top Safety Pick Plus by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. Lane Departure Warning with Lane Keep Assist and Rear Cross Path Detection are just two of the available safety features on this cuddly cub. As with any hot man or machine, always protect yourself.

2015 Chrysler 200C and 2015 Chrysler 200SOne feature I really like is that when you put the car in Park, the parking brake is applied automatically. Sure, this is an extra step when you want the car to go, because you will have to consciously think about disengaging Your Parking Break. But, yeah, I’m all for it. Sometimes as gays we don’t think about putting on the breaks and then we crash – this just eliminates one source of drama / trauma.

And for all you techies, get ready to change your shorts. Chrysler’s UConnect system is one of the easiest to navigate and operate, and it can do so many things, include being a Wi-Fi hot spot. The navigation is by Garmin and the control panel is very easy on the touch, allowing you to save your roughness for something more romantic. If you are very well connected outside your car, the 200 can connect you even better to the universe and beyond, even without Leonard Nimoy, R.I.P.

2015 Chrysler 200Full disclosure: I am no longer a member of the Pepsi Generation or the Diet Pepsi Generation – and I test drove the 200C, the top-tier trim. What a joy that was, but also having been in the base trim LX, I can honestly say you will always get your money’s worth from the 200 C, C+ or other trims .

Warning, Will Robinson: the backseats are tight unless your friends really are Calista Flockhart and her overweight-at-102-lbs friends, which probably include Neil Patrick Harris (does that boy ever eat?). If the gadgetry and overall coolness of the 200C weren’t so overwhelming, I might pass on the car just because of the backseats. Caution is advised: get skinny friends and the backseats on the 201-5200 will not disappoint.

2015 Chrysler 200SIf you can afford all the gadgets, I would definitely get the V-6, which is a lot peppier and by far more quiet than the 4-cylinder. And get the dual-pane panoramic sunroof. And the Parallel Park assist and Perpendicular Park assist. Yes, I wouldn’t skimp on this car, but know that the price goes up and the back seats do not get any bigger.

It is nice to know that should you not be able to stop your car in time to avoid the truck in front of you, your Chrysler 200 will be able to do it for you. At the very least, it will make the crash less severe. We all get distracted, and for you LGBTs who have children, the last thing you need is for your child to need you just when you should be focusing on the road in front of you. Talk about bliss….

Most of us now have legal same-sex marriage in the state where we live. Why not get a true lifesaver like the 200C as a wedding gift?

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